Coach Batteberg's Crazy Quotes

During his many years of coaching basketball, Coach Terry Battenberg has been known for his “play
on words” and sense of humor. Journalists and players alike have been left to scratch their collective
heads after hearing some of his lines. Below are a few examples of what we will call, for lack of a better
term, “Crazy Quotes.”

#       “You couldn't shake up a shack full of chickens.”
Directed at defensive players who have failed to loudly call out a screen during a pick and roll.

#       “He thought de fense was something you put around de cows. 
The description of a former player's attitude toward defense when he first joined the team.

      “He couldn't hit the floor if he fell out of bed.”
A quote about a player who missed all of his shots during a game.

      “There are less bricks in my fireplace then we put up tonight.”
Spoken to the press following a particularly poor shooting night by his team.

      “You got one more than a dead man .”
This one has been directed at top rebounders who have only gotten one rebound by half time.

      “We're going to Disneyland .”
The excited Coach used this one with a local news reporter after his brand new high school team won the first
league game in its history after seven consecutive loses.

      “We've got plenty of players who can shoot the three. What we need are players who can make the three.” 
Used on a journalist who asked if Coach's team didn't shoot many threes because he didn't have any three-point 

####  Obviously, most of these quotes are not original, but to Coach's young players and many journalists, they were 
new and “crazy” for them.


Speed Game

Tips to a Good Fast Break 
T.V and Radio
Crazy Quotes

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